Walking is a Celebration

“Ohhhh,” Susie gushes. “His six-pack abs are straight from a Calvin Klein undies ad.”

Susie has been regaling the Wonder Walkers with scrumptious personal trainer stories ever since they hit the boardwalk.

“He is pure, unadulterated lolly,” she says.

“Speaking of adultery, aren’t you married?” Trudy queries when there is a lull in the guffaws and lewd comments of the older Wonder Walkers.

“Right you are,” Susie replies. “Six years tomorrow, in fact. But, window shopping is okay, you know. As Mark darling says to me ‘a chained dog can still bark from the porch’.”

“Or, it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite,” Betty interjects, “so long as you eat at home.” (Thankfully, none of the Walkers spot the irony. Betty hasn’t admitted she’s gay, let alone that she was boxing outside the ring with the school mistress while still married.)

Ani, meanwhile, is certain Susie’s personal trainer would be lousy for her health.

“If he’s as good as you claim Susie, he’d shoot my hypertension problem off the charts.”

Tabitha jokes that an eyeful of their new, matching Wonder Walkers’ tee-shirts would give anyone high blood pressure.

Patty – missing many a rolling eyeball – smiles proudly while Tabitha, Laura and Trudy quietly plot to stitch darts in their loose-fitting tops.

But Susie hasn’t finished with the limelight.
“Walking with you lot is a celebration of womanhood – conversation, laughter, caring and sharing. But Pete my personal trainer is a visual celebration.

“Exercise,” she announces, “is all about balance.”

Can Susie stay on the porch and eat only at home?

Will some of the tee-shirts be modified before the next walk?

When is Betty going to admit what fuels her appetites?