Episode Nine - Life was so much simpler in the commune

Patty’s puffing. She’s already done the walking school bus this morning and is collecting the new Wonder Walkers’ tee-shirts when husband Lee roars past in a plume of diesel exhaust fumes.

She sighs. Patty’s been crazy about Lee since their meeting on a Tiananmen Square remembrance march but his ignorance of environmental issues is frustrating.

“Two steps forward, one back,” she mutters. “At least I can lighten his carbon footprint by encouraging the Wonder Walkers.”

As she leaves the screen printer’s, flushed fellow walker Susie Strider pulls alongside.

Susie’s healthy glow could be from this morning’s one-hour army-style exercise class. Or it could be that the new 23-year-old personal trainer was serious eye candy.

Patty – unaware of Susie’s impure thoughts – makes a confession.

“I secretly buy organic vegetables and swap them for the ones he brings home from his family’s market gardens,” says Patty. “I just can’t eat them any more. He promises me the fertiliser is harvested at dawn by workers with their moons in Leo but I just don’t think I can trust him.

“Life was so much simpler in the commune.”

Susie nods enthusiastically. Patty appreciates the sympathy, unaware that Susie’s mind is straying far from organic greens. More like orgasmic lean meat for our Susie.

Will Lee recognise the imposter vegetables?

Should Patty mention her plan to unite the Wonder Walkers on a ‘walking awareness’ march.

Will everyone get the t-shirt colour they want?